Recipe for Change: Cookies

Here's a Recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookies with Chocolate Chips and Pieces of my Back and Spine for added Fun!~

1 cup sugar, white
1 cup sugar, brown
2 eggies
a sledgehammer
2 cups flour
1 cup pieces of my spine and back
1 tablespoon vanilla
1 tablespoon baking soda (or is it powder, can never remember)
My dad once put out the "Terrible Patio Fire of '77" with the stuff. My brother Chad was in his high chair taking in the late afternoon valley sun, which at that point was tinted silver behind the veil of Star Wars (as was everything then).

Chad was screaming but in those days this was not unusual. His screams had become a sort of beacon for the family, a theme song even. We would tap our feet and smile, proud of the range his voice was developing, growing closer as a family.

On that day some fallen leaves had gathered in a pile and whispered together some diabolical plan that involved rubbing and friction over and over until those leaves weren't piled any longer, just rising smoke and pieces of once-was-leaves forever scarring poor Chad with their brutal display of flicker and heat.

The screams rose and grew sharper, filing out an edge that eventually cut through to the rest of the family. “I think Chad’s really upset.” And he was as the fire lapped up at the base his high chair.

Dad arrived out the dropped door of the Millennium Falcon, dressed in loose fitting summer wear and carrying a large box of baking powder (or was it soda). Holding onto a conveniently dropped strand of wire, he grabbed mom around her waist and swung through the patio door, shaking that box of baking stuffs until all was covered in a thin sheet of powdery white, smoke and remains, while Chad held onto the rest of his screams for another day.
1 bag chocolate chips
1 cup butter, soft as a bunny's heart
1 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 350. Don't bother greasing a pan as it's kind of a silly old-wives tale to do so and just creates more work.

I'll stand with my legs spread slightly apart, gripping the sledgehammer as a third leg in the middle. At this point please turn off the musick. Don't worry, we can put it back on it's just that i'd like to get the full sensory effect of this next part of our baking.

I will rock the sledgehammer between my legs a few times, building momentum. I may breathe deeply but may not as that sometimes reminds me of trying to be too serious and this is not that serious of course because this is just baking cookies.

Now i will swing the sledgehammer back over my hand and smash it all the way against my back. i will do this with as much force and as many times possible so that we may retrieve as many goodies as we can for our cookies.

You can put the musick back on now please. Thanks.

Collect the pieces of flesh and put in a bowl with both sugars. DO NOT MIX IN THE PIECES BONE AND SPINE NOW. Mix together with the salt and vanilla, and add the two eggs.

In a separate bowl (& this is very important as two people that i trust very much insist that it needs to be a separate bowl) mix the flour and baking particles. Then put it all together in (the first bowl? the second one?? a whole new bowl??? i could never figure this out) the biggest bowl and beat until smooth.

Add the real good stuff- the chocolate chips, the pieces of bone and spine and mix by hand.

Bake on a cookie sheet for 12 minutes. Cool on a rack and ENJOY!